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Cannon Fodder
Crying Clown
Joined: 06 Mar 2007
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Location: Down to Perth
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 Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:26 am Post subject: It Came From the VHS Stack- Yor, the Hunter from the Future |
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Given the cheesy title, tagline and the premise described on the back of the box Yor, the Hunter from the Future (Aka. Mondo di Yor, Il) had a lot to live up to, after sitting in my VHS pile for so long. I’m happy to say whilst it isn’t going to go down as an all time Supidity great it provides all you could hope for from a cheesy eighties Italian sci-fi/fantasy caveman movie. The opening of Yor is sign enough of what is to come. We begin with the sight of Yor (Reb Brown of Strike Commando and Space Mutiny) traipsing across a variety of mountains and interesting rock formations, resplendent in his athletic glory and blond surfer-dude/he-man hairdo, wearing only boots, a skimpy loincloth and a grin that straddles the border between optimistically heroic and simple minded. As the title of the movie flashes into the scene we are treated to sound of the Yor theme song. It’s hard to do justice in words to the Yor theme, partly because it is one of those tunes that is so goofy and odd you just need to hear it to appreciate it and partly because most of the lyrics, sung in a weird, reedy and garbled high pitched voice are largely incomprehensible. You can sometimes make out lyrics such as ‘Yor, lost in a world of the past, in the echo of ancient blast’ or something about Yor ‘always running, his search will go on.’ The main refrain however seems to be something along the lines of ‘Yorrrr!! He’s the maaaannn.’ Or 'Yorrr’s world, he’s the maaaannn!’ The only word you can make out for sure is Yor and it sure repeated a lot, every time the synthy score rises to a heroic crescendo- Yyoorrrr!!! Sadly, copies of the theme seem hard to come by, even online.
The first real scene is standard sword and sandal stuff as Yor rescues a young cave-woman, Ka-Laa (Bond girl Corrine Clery) and her scruffy middle aged guardian Pag (Alan Collins aka. Luciano Pigozzi) from a killer triceratops. Yes, this movie initially seems to hail from the classic school of thought that believes cavemen and dinosaurs coexisted at the same time in history. (When everyone with the correct education knows dinosaurs never existed and the fossil remains and bones were put on this earth by god to test the faith of his flock). As it transpires later on, the movie is actually set in the future, after some kind of global disaster, when human civilisation has fallen, which makes the presence of the dinosaurs even more baffling. Unless of course the film-makers are positing that there was some kind of technologically advanced civilisation that rose and fell during the time of the dinosaurs. Other possibilities I’ve pulled out my arse to make sense of this include the possibility that this advanced civilisation that has fallen mastered DNA cloning techniques and bred some of the creatures, which survived the nuclear holocaust, or whatever it was, and now roam the post-apocalyptic landscape ala the dinosaurs in Judge Dredd, or the somewhat sillier explanation that the great disaster ruptured the fabric of time and space and brought some dinosaurs forwards in time. Anyhoo... It is also a little puzzling why a herbivorous dinosaur seems to be so bloodthirsty- it even has a rows of sharp pointy teeth. I guess you could argue that it is a mutant dinosaur, which sounds kind of awesome when ultimately the creature we see on screen isn’t. You can see why people were so blown away by the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park ten years later if these are typical of the dinosaurs the cinema had to offer. Big monolithic fake looking fibre glass creations, the best thing you can say about the dinos in Yor is that aren’t quite as fake as the ones from the 1970s Doctor Who story The Invasion of the dinosaurs (Signs you’re a nerd 234: Making reference to lesser known Doctor Who episodes in reviews of B-grade Italian caveman movies). No matter how much the camera swings about or how many times Yor leaps about the place, including an impressive leap over the Triceratops’ head or how much fake blood they throw over the things head when Yor is meant to have struck it you can’t escape the fact you’re watching a grown man jumping around to avoid a giant fibre-glass model and occasionally hitting it with an axe. Ultimately the most puzzling thing about the triceratops is why its skull is so damn soft. I’m no dinosaur expert but aren’t they known for their thick skulls? Yor’s primitive stone axe goes through it like it’s made of, well, fibre-glass. Yor is quickly welcomed into the tribe after his rescue. Ka-Laa is particularly welcoming of Yor, giving him less than subtle hints of her affection at a tribal dance involving excessive gyration and some lingering and meaningful looks. The most amusing thing about this scene, as with others where various women throw themselves at Yor, is the big dopey grin that appears on Yor’s face, which wouldn’t look out of place on Glen Quagmire from the Family Guy. I was almost expecting Yor to burst out with an “Oh yeah, gigitty, gigitty!”
This happiness is short lived as the tribe are attacked by a group of far nastier cave-men, ones with extremely thick black hair and beards, who have some grey/black shit smeared all over their skin. I’m not sure if it they were just meant to be dirty or if this is meant to be some sort of body paint. Possibly they were meant to be black but I’m going to give the makers of Yor the benefit of the doubt and assume that this isn’t the case. As cartoony as they are, this is at least somewhat more believable than the good cave-people who are noticeably clean and well groomed despite the occasional smear of dirt. As is the tradition with cinematic cave woman Ka-Laa herself looks like she’s just come from the local beauticians, with minimal but neatly placed makeup and a clean and bouncy permed hair-do which never gets mussed or disrupted throughout all the adventures she goes through. All the cave-men are quite well spoken all things considered. Their English might be somewhat broken and the sentence structure slightly wonky but the diction and delivery is far clearer than one has come to expect from actors you see in many movies today (I don’t care is mumbling is more naturalistic, I like to hear the fucking dialogue). Even the more primitive bad cavemen are fairly well spoken, when they’re not just grunting or screaming randomly. Most of the menfolk are killed and the woman taken captive by the bad cavemen, despite Yor killing scads of them in combat. Ka-Laa initially escapes but is captured, leaving Yor and Pag to rescue her. The rescue involves what might be one of the greatest moments in cinematic history. As Yor and Pag wait outside the bad cavemen’s main cave planning their rescue Yor spies flying through the night sky some sort of flying creature and swiftly brings it down with a projectile weapon of some sort. I’m not sure what the creature is meant to be exactly. You would think Pterodactyl, given the inexplicable abundance of dinosaurs in this part of the world or possibly a giant bat, but it is really dark and hard to tell what the hell it is. The next thing you know Yor bursts through the cave entrance flying through the air hanging off the talons of the dead (I presume it’s dead but that doesn’t make a whole of sense) flying creature, using it as a primitive glider- this accompanied by a rousing reprise of the Yor theme song- “Yor’s world- he’s the mannnnn, Yor’s world- he’s the mannnn.” The following battle and escape sequence is scored with a rousing adventure score that is so hokey it borders on parody. This section involves Yor killing a whole bunch of the bad guys and flooding the cave system by releasing the contents of the primitive dam that was set up further into the tunnels. There a few problems with this sequence for me. First is the fact these primitive cavemen have set up a dam system when they are basically shown as being grunting stone age savages. As simple technologically as it is, it seems way beyond these guys. It must be a pretty impressive dam as far as these things go, as judging by the huge amount of water released when the dam breaks there must have a huge underground reservoir connected to the cave system. Then there’s the fact Yor only bothers to rescue Ka-Laa and doesn’t even think about trying to rescue any of the other members of the tribe. It kind of seems like he’s decided to go grab the girl he has the hots for and to hell with the others, let them stay and be molested by hairy cavemen. Actually, from what we see this basically involves the bad cavemen running around the caves growling at the captive women causing them run around shrieking in a fashion that somewhat resembles the boys trying to scare the girls at a kindergarten. It’s kind of academic anyway as basically the entire cave system is flooded washing away the evil cavemen and their dwellings, and presumably their captives along with them. Yor’s okay with that though, he got what he came for. Maybe the movie should have been called Yor, the Arsehole from the Future.
The next section of the movie involves Yor trying to explore his mysterious origins by tracking down a holy woman living with a fire worshipping tribe in the desert, who, he was told by one of the elders from the tribe of peaceful cave people he failed to rescue, has a metal medallion similar to the one he has around his neck and has had since birth. It is indicated that Yor is different from the other cave people in such lines of dialogue from Ka-Laa as ‘Pag, why is Yor not like other men?’ Pretty much the only difference we’ve seen between Yor and the other cavemen other than the fact that he is more kickarse and well groomed, which is to be expected of the hero, is the fact that he is a blonde. The IMDB goes as far as to describe Yor as 'extremely blond 'in their plot summary for the movie. When Yor does meet up with the holy woman living in the desert, another blonde, she indicates they are part of a separate and superior race. At this point Yor is shaping up to be a piece of Aryan propaganda- no wonder Yor was so willing to let all those other more primitive cave people drown earlier on, the frigging Nazi. Here, Yor battles the fire worshipping tribe, who wield long sticks with flaming brands on the end like spears and wear lots of manufactured looking, rags which prove to highly flammable. You would think a bunch of guys who basically spend their entire day around fire would choose not to clothe themselves so thoroughly in such a combustible material. As inexplicable as this may be it is not as weird as the part where a flame end falls into a pool of water causing a wave of flames to burst across it as though it were gasoline. Yes, you read that right, the water catches fire. The water... catches fire. This is quite probably the only movie in history to contain flammable water and I suspect it might hold that distinction for a long time to come. Almost as inexplicable is the presence of a bunch of other dudes frozen in chunks of ice in the middle of the fire temple. Roa’s, Yor’s blonde new squeeze, explanation- “They say I came here together with those men, there, caught in the ice. Why I am alive and they are dead I don't know, and why the ice has formed in this parched desert is a mystery without an answer, but the little water that comes from it is vital to these people and they worship me, as a divine goddess.” That’s all you’re going to get folks. If one were to stretch for an explanation it could be guessed that they are held in some form of cryogenic suspension but the script gives no real indication and the people are really just frozen in some big chunks of ice sitting in the middle of the chamber, not inside any kind of box or cabinet.
Yor’s infatuation with his newer, skimpier costumed and blonder lover interest causes tension between her and Ka-Laa who is pained to see Yor give Roa the same kind of sleazy grin he used to reserve for her. Pag suggests she should be happy to be share Yor with the other woman, as it the way of their tribe, in such a way as to suggest she is just being emotional and female but Ka-Laa will have none of it. Her solution, in true cave woman style, is to try and kill Roa with her knife but as the two grapple they are attacked by some more of the evil cavemen and Roa is dealt a fatal blow to the head. For some reason his causes her to become strangely expositive as she suddenly remembers as she dies that she and Yor actually came from some island where there was a big castle. I’m not sure how she would even know what a castle is, let alone have a word for it but never mind. Also, I’m guessing the writers of Yor subscribe to the whole life flashes before your eyes before you die school of thought. As it is, the brutal murder of Roa is a convenient plot function, not only giving Yor the clue he needs for his quest but neatly wrapping up the love triangle subplot. Yor now only has sleazy smiles for Ka-Laa as they set out to find this mysterious island based on Roa’s incredibly vague description.
They more or less stumble straight into it not before encountering a tribe of quasi-Polynesians (The different tribes Yor comes across in only a few days travel really do seem to quite culturally diverse) living in a village by the sea, who Yor and Pag promptly rescue from a marauding spinosaurus. The fight and the dinosaur are about as impressive as the triceratops stuff was earlier but at least this time it is actually a carnivorous dinosaur. The leader of the tribe offers Yor the woman-folk he saved as his just reward. Technically speaking Pag dealt the killing blow by shooting an arrow into the spinosaur’s eye so really he should be the one being offered the harem. Hey, he’s already made his progressive attitude toward polygamy well known. Yor doesn’t immediately take up on the offer, perhaps remembering what happened last time Ka-Laa had a rival, but you get the impression he would, um... indulge, if the village weren’t suddenly blown apart by laser beams from an unknown source. The most amusing part of this sequence is where Yor finds a ‘talking box’ left by the gods, in other words a walkie talkie. When the attack happens he throws the box to the ground in disgust delivering the immortal line ‘Damn talking box!’ in the way only Reb Brown could deliver such a line. Despite their village being destroyed and half the population being wiped out (Hmmm, this kind of thing seems to happen to every community Yor visits, he’s like some kind of blond muscle bound albatross) their first priority is to provide Yor with a boat so he can continue with his quest. As with the dam in the evil cave man den from earlier in the movie, the boat, as rickety as it is, seems way to neatly constructed and advanced for the stone age culture we see. As it transpires the island they seek is meant to be constantly surrounded by storms so the rickety boat scheme, even if it is the best boat available, is one with drawbacks.
Our intrepid trio indeed discover why sailing a reed boat into a region known for its storms isn’t such a good idea but fortunately nobody is hurt and they end on the island they are seeking. Here things get a bit more crazy and lot of more sci-fi as Yor and his friends become embroiled in a struggle against Overlord (John Steiner), the cloaked cyborg leader of an army of androids and raging ham-ball, who rules over the last vestiges of technologically advanced human civilisation, who are trapped in a city on the island, not daring to go out into the outside world for fear of radiation (In reality the dinosaurs and hairy cavemen are the real threat). I’m guessing either their Geiger counters are faulty or Overlord and his predecessors have been pulling the wool over the eyes of the people of the city for generations as it seems like the radiation must have died out quite some time ago, judging from what we’ve seen. Campy and theatrical, to say the least, Overlord constantly spouts such lines of dialogue as ‘I am the Overlord, ruler of my people and yours too. You are completely in my power.’ Yor and friends team up with a group of rebels who provide all the exposition needed, revealing that Yor is one their own. He was sent out the city as an infant to avoid the grasp of Overlord but the plane he was in crashed leaving him to be brought up caveman style. Technically speaking this means the title should be Yor the Hunter from the Small Enclave of Technologically Advanced Aryans Who Survived the Nuclear Holocaust but I guess that just doesn’t have the same ring to it as Yor, the Hunter from the Future. Naturally, just about everyone from this advanced civilisation is tall and blonde. A big deal is made out how perfect and impressive Yor is and Overlord has some wacky plan to use Yor’s and for some reason Ka-Laa’s DNA (It’s not like she’s an Aryan superman like Yor) to help create a race of supermen he can use to rebuild civilisation. He gets a whole torrent of techno-babble dialogue about DNA templates, androids and mind control that is pretty much incomprehensible, almost on a R.O.T.O.R. level. Despite his criminally underutilised ability to teleport around the island complex at will, his magical crystal ball that lets him observe any place he wants, and his hordes of android minions Overlord is fairly easily defeated. It might have something to do with how crappy his androids are. They look a lot like Dark Helmet from Spaceballs, only not quite as short and top heavy, and are as effective and possibly even more easily despatched than storm troopers. The first time Yor comes up against them he is able to cleanly decapitate one by hitting it in the head with a rock. Clearly they made by the same manufacturers who did the foot soldiers from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon, who regularly had their heads kicked off by the turtles (I never did understand why a human-turtle hybrid would have such increased strength and agility, it’s not like freaking turtles are known for such attributes). It’s possible that, like the turtles, Yor is just really, really strong. After all was able to penetrate the skull of a Triceratops with a blow of his mighty axe and he is The Man, as the theme song periodically reminds us.
As it is, despite being trumped up as this big saviour and mighty hero, Yor doesn’t have that much to do with the ultimate defeat of Overlord. It mostly has to do with some old codger who is teamed up with the rebels, who manages to hack into the overlords control system for his androids and set off the nuclear pile in the centre of the city. He does it with such ease you really wonder why somebody didn’t just do this earlier and why everyone felt the need to wait for the return of Yor, who basically isn’t really needed to properly defeat Overlord. Though I do wonder why the old dude felt the need to blow up the city when all he needed to do was deactivate Overlord’s androids to render him powerless. All that technology might come in handy rebuilding civilisation. I guess he just wanted to blow things up or he really didn’t think things through. Old people, huh? Alternatively he might have wanted to make sure Yor didn’t break his streak of having every community he visits during the course of the movie destroyed to a greater or lesser extent. Yor does get to run around with the other rebels having Star Wars style laser battles with Overlord’s crappy budget androids in various ‘futuristic’ corridors and catwalks, in one of these generic factory setting which show up in so many eighties movies and he learns how wield a laser gun pretty quickly. He’s a natural. As is normally the case the good guys fire green lasers from their laser guns and the bad guys fire red laser beams from their laser guns, which take the place of their left hands. There is even one Star Wars style sequence where Yor gets to swing across a canyon inside the futuristic city in a heroic fashion. However when Yor does it, instead a of clutching the female lead he has Pag, the female lead’s bearded and middle aged father figure hanging off him, goes back and forth across the chasm a few times and the Yor theme song is playing as he does it. That alone elevates the scene to a whole new level. Yor does get to kill Overlord, although anybody really could have done it by this point, by spearing him with a red and white striped flag pole. Overlord wanders around for a while with the pole sticking out of his gut in a humorous fashion.
Yor and friends escape the city in a flying machine and the sight of it flying through the sky with the city exploding behind in the background is accompanied by yet another rendition of the Yor theme. The movie then ends very abruptly on this very shot with a voiceover obligingly and succinctly informing us ‘Yor returns to the primitive tribes on the mainland; he is determined to use his superior knowledge to prevent them making the same mistakes as their forefathers. Will he succeed?’ Okay not only is this an overly abrupt and lazy wrap up (On rivalled by the end of Dracula 3000) it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. It isn’t Yor who has the superior knowledge; it’s the other dudes who escaped from the city who do. Plus it is indicated it was those with the superior knowledge who ended up blowing up the world. It’s not like the current stone-age tribes really have quite that capacity for mass destruction, even if they have the inclination. Yor might have a better chance of succeeding if that crazy old fart hadn’t blown up the city with all the advanced technology for no reason but sadly there was never a Yor 2 so I guess we’ll never find out if he succeeds. Based on the precedent of what usually happens to any kind of tribe or community when Yor is around I wouldn’t be too optimistic.
I’m glad that Yor, the Hunter from the future lived up to the VHS cover and that Reb Brown didn’t disappoint us. It is worth watching for the theme music alone. |
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Rebel_Scum
Finley's Angel
Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Posts: 58
Location: Still somewhere over the Atlantic
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| Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 7:05 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | It is also a little puzzling why a herbivorous dinosaur seems to be so bloodthirsty |
I believe it was protecting its young. Weren't Ka-Laa and Pag tormenting a much smaller triceratops just before they were attacked?
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There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't. |
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Cannon Fodder
Crying Clown
Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 462
Location: Down to Perth
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| Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 7:10 am Post subject: |
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| I remember them coming across a smaller dinosaur before the attack but I didn't realise it was meant to be a young Triceratops. It looked like a random puppet to me but it would make sense if it were a baby dinosaur. If so, my apologies to Mr. Margheriti, Mr. Brown and everyone involved in the production. |
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D.N.
Site Admin
Joined: 30 Jan 2007
Posts: 2904
Location: "I'm in Outland. I'll do anything."
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| Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 2:18 am Post subject: |
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| Cannon Fodder wrote: | | my apologies to Mr. Margheriti |
Ah, Antonio Margheriti. The same guy who directed Indio and The Last Hunter. |
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Cannon Fodder
Crying Clown
Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 462
Location: Down to Perth
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| Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:20 am Post subject: |
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| I only noticed after the review that Yor was directed by the same dude that directed the last movie you just put up on the site, and Indio. Maybe we could pretend it was the theme for the week- films directed by Antonio Margheriti with the word hunter somewhere in the title. |
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D.N.
Site Admin
Joined: 30 Jan 2007
Posts: 2904
Location: "I'm in Outland. I'll do anything."
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| Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 2:42 am Post subject: |
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| It's funny how the same names keep popping up in these Italian-made B-grade 80s movies. Dardano Sacchetti wrote the screenplay for quite a few movies I've reviewed here: The Last Hunter, Possessed, Thunder, Blastfighter, Karate Warrior...Sacchetti also wrote the script for Exterminators of the Year 3000 (which I own but am yet to watch), and according to the IMDb, he contributed (albeit without credit) to the screenplay of Supidity favourite Amityville II: The Possession. |
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Cannon Fodder
Crying Clown
Joined: 06 Mar 2007
Posts: 462
Location: Down to Perth
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| Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 9:52 am Post subject: |
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Believe it or not but Antonio Margheriti actually has a website devoted to his life and works.
http://www.antoniomargheriti.com/english_version/enghome.htm
It is apparently run by his son. Okay, it might seem strange that the dude has a website but I kind of like the fact this fairly obscure workman like director has something commemorating his work. Sure, he didn't exactly make the greatest quality pieces of cinema but the guy spent 40 odd years working away at his craft and it is kind of cool he gets something.
Yor, the Hunter from the Future itself was apparently based on the comic series, Yor's World, of which Margheriti was a fan and relished the chance to adapt. Again, it might be hard to bleieve but Yor might well have been a labour of love. It was originally a 4-part TV miniseries, with a running time of 200 minutes or so before it was truncated for international distribution. The original cut is pretty much impossible to come by but its interesting to know there's a longer, meatier version of Yor out there, apparently containing whole segments not included in the version we all know and love. I can't say I'm not curious. |
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D.N.
Site Admin
Joined: 30 Jan 2007
Posts: 2904
Location: "I'm in Outland. I'll do anything."
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| Posted: Wed Feb 13, 2008 3:41 am Post subject: |
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| Cannon Fodder wrote: | | The original cut is pretty much impossible to come by but its interesting to know there's a longer, meatier version of Yor out there, apparently containing whole segments not included in the version we all know and love. I can't say I'm not curious. |
Sounds to me like you're itching to make a new post in the Special Editions I Want to See thread. |
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Cannon Fodder
Crying Clown
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Posts: 462
Location: Down to Perth
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| Posted: Thu Feb 14, 2008 10:56 am Post subject: |
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| It would be a very special edition. |
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